No matter how peaceful a human being you are, no matter how kind, sweet and generous you try to be, and no matter how desperately you try to steer away from negative people and their never-ending issues, you must know that it is inevitable that you will, at one point or another, have to face an issue or problem that thrusts itself upon you.
It might be that someone is invading your privacy and you have to find a way to set limits. It may be that specific individuals are being passive aggressive towards you or your family members and creating an unnecessary negative aura that hurts you. It may be that someone is speaking terrible things about you to people you care about and intentionally trying to jeopardize your relationship with them. Whatever it is, it is a problem that has come to you and though you would rather avoid dealing with it, you must muster enough energy to solve it or safely remove yourself from the situation.
Here are a few things to keep in mind when put in such a situation:
1. Keep your eye on the core problem.
When in the middle of a social crises it is very easy to get carried away with small details and emotions that only confuse and frustrate you more. “Why did they say that?”, “Why are they upset when they are the ones who started it?” etc. These are details that are meaningless and will only make you angry while keeping you distracted from the main issue. Keep reminding yourself why you are involved in this issue in the first place and what you are trying to accomplish.
2. Use effective and efficient words and actions.
You want the shortest and most effective route to solve the problem at hand. Do not say more than you need to. Use just the right amount of actions and words that will make a clear point without unnecessarily causing pain and hurt to others.
3. Do not forget your standards, morals and ethics.
When dealing with people who are hurtful and who use unethical means to gain advantages from you it is very easy to get angry. Anger makes you irrational and will encourage you to retaliate, and retaliation usually means you stooping down to the level of those you are dealing with. If you win a battle but lose your ethical standards then you have LOST. Always take the higher road and don’t stoop to backbiting, rude comments, angry comebacks and emotional manipulations.
4. You can’t win them all.
Remember, as much as you would love to be loved by everyone around you, not everyone will love you and respect and appreciate your opinions and lifestyle. Some people will always disagree with you and you have to accept that and know that it is a natural part of life. If some people don’t agree with what you are doing then that’s ok. You don’t owe people agreement on their lifestyle nor should you wait for them to stand by your every move in support. Some things you will just have to do on your own.
5. When it’s over, it’s over.
When you solve the core problem you were seeking to solve, then throw away any negative feelings that had piled up during the process, and continue living happily without lingering over words said and the little details that in the long run don’t mean much. Forgive words said in anger and as much as possible stay on good terms with everyone, while of course keeping your limits clear. You don’t cross theirs, and they do not cross yours.
“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”